You're fighting about WHAT?!?!?!

My 2 youngest children are 8 year apart in age.  They totally love each other.  Stevi counts the days when Hunter is at his dads, and Hunter will play tea party and Barbies with Stevi.

Being so far in age you would think that they wouldn't have anything to fight about, but you would be wrong.

As Stevi is getting older and trying to be more independent, they seem to be fighting even more.  The sad thing is the things they are fighting about ARE STUPID!!!!

Let's see... 2 weeks ago they got into a huge yelling match about whether or not Stevi knew all the words to "I see the Light" from the Tangled Soundtrack.   The other day Hunter told Stevi that rocks don't bleed and Stevi told Hunter he is a bad brother.  Taking Hunter to school one morning They fought over how much touching was allowed to take place regarding Hunter's razor scooter, and just Tuesday morning Stevi screamed at Hunter for trying to hold her hand as they crossed the parking lot, she yelled "I'm all grown up now and I don't need to hold your yucky hand!!"  and Hunter replied "My hand isn't yucky, maybe it's your hand that's yucky... ever think of that?"

I have been considering making them a "get along" shirt!!!  either that or sell them to the Gypsies!!

I am someone beautiful to my daughter.

I want nothing more then my daughter to grow up healthy, both physically and mentally.  I want my daughter to have a positive body image about her self, I want her to love herself, and I know that comes from what she sees and hears around her.

Problem is I have huge issues with my body, and I'm the last person I like.  Hypocrite? Maybe, or maybe I just want more for my daughter then what I have.  It's a hard life not liking who is looking back at you in the mirror , it's stressful clothes shopping and upsetting when you leave a store with nothing more then wet tissues from crying in the dressing rooms.

So here I stand needing to teach my daughter about self love and acceptance when I have none for myself.

I don't work on Fridays, and have found that they are the BEST days to run errands because the stores aren't packed with people.  Being in need for a dress for an up coming celebration, I hit a few clothing stores.  Stevi and I were in a nice big dressing room while I tried on dress after dress, trying not to make faces at myself or make that "OH MY GOD" noise.

As I would stared at myself in the mirror, Stevi would add her comments... "Wow, that dress makes you looking so Beautiful" "That color is pretty on you mama" "WOW that is so fancy, buy that one".

I left with a dress and a tear in my eye, not because I hated who I saw in the mirror, but because I am someone beautiful to my daughter.

Jeopardy Jollies

One show that Doug and I like watching together is Jeopardy.  We love it!!!  And we have our little jokes, our likes and dislikes.

I hate hate HATE it when people pick from the middle of the board, Yeah I know they are looking for the daily double, but it makes me mad, I root for their gaming demise when they do this!

When Doug doesn't know the Answer (err Question... Whatever!!!) he guesses Shecky, it is NEVER Shecky...I don't even know anyone named Shecky, and I doubt you do too.

When Raistlin doesn't know the Answer (err Question...Hey get off my back!!) he guesses Portugal.  He's right about 3% of the time, but when he is right he does a celebration dance as if he hadn't really guessed!!!

Last night I started yelling out answers to the categories before the game started.  One was "silent g's" I yelled out Night, another was "3 lettered body parts"  I yelled eye, arm, toe...  Doug just looked at me and asked "Do you have Jeopardy Tourette?"  Well I guess I do Doug, I guess I do!

I love love love it!!!

Last night Doug said "I'm shocked you haven't written a post about it yet"  So, in honor of Doug's comment, here it is!!! (Smart Ass!!)

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE my kitchenaid mixer!!!

Before I had one, I would watch cooking shows and wish I had one.  Now that I have one, I use it for everything!!  I even have a meat grinder attachment!!  I am hoping to buy an ice cream attachment and a juicer attachment... Someday.

I wipe it down after every use, so it stays looking brand new and spotless.  Doug wont touch it cuz he doesn't want to be responsible for any possible damage, scratch, or foul word said or done to my mixer!

It doesn't talk back, it doesn't refuse to go to bed, it doesn't put dirty dishes away, it doesn't stay up on the internet all night.  It doesn't leave it's stinky socks in the the living room.

I Love my Mixer!!!

And she makes 4

My Sister in-law just had her 3rd beautiful baby boy.  She recently posted in her blog her feelings about this... It's a great blog and a lovely post - http://www.kristinskronicles.com/2014/09/baby-is-here.html Check it out, it's a good read!

So many times I hold so much inside because I'm afraid it will make me look like a bad mother, an immature woman, or just plain insane!  I Think Kristin is brave and strong for just saying it like it is!

I had my first son at 19, 5 years later I had my second son, and 5 years after that I had my third son.  I wanted a little girl so badly, but I would never admit to that.  Don't get me wrong I love Hunter as much as I love his brothers, wouldn't trade him in for anything, but I was hoping for a daughter.  almost 5 years later I had a terrible miscarriage and had my tubes tied.  I was completely happy with my boys, I didn't feel the need to "try again."

During the lowest time of my life, I met and fell in love with a wonder person, my best friend, and the most amazing man.  Months later I started to have the most painful cramps, I thought I was dying or had some awful form of cancer (I can be a bit of a drama queen when I'm sick).  I saw the Doctor at the free clinic ran by the homeless shelter I was living at, and was told it was nothing more then my PCOS acting up and I should go to Planned Parenthood for BC pills to help for a month or so.   Planned Parent ran a routine Pregnancy test and told me I was pregnant.  After about 15 minutes of me arguing with the nurse that that wasn't possible, she did an ultra sound and I was indeed pregnant.

I haven't shared this with anyone but Doug, but I was ANGRY and scared, but mostly very very ANGRY.  I was too old and too poor to be having another child.  I had my tubes tied for a reason, I was pissed off I had to now make a choice, after I had already made a choice to not have anymore children.

I had a beautiful healthy baby girl and I have always wanted her, it was just not the pregnancy I wanted.

What's in a name?

"What's in a name? 

That which we call a rose 

by any other name would smell as sweet."

                                             -Willam Shakespare

Among all my issues, one of my biggest is social anxiety.  It's not just around large groups of people or strangers, although those are huge triggers for me and I stress about events like those for weeks before hand.  No, I also have social anxiety around family and friends in smaller groups as well.  My biggest fear is being embarrassed, sometimes just ordering food can set off my anxieties.

OK, I know you are thinking what does any of this have to do with names?

I freak out when I can't say someones name correctly.  I interviewed 3 daycares before I interviewed the daycare my daughter is at.  Stevi goes to a great daycare that she has been at for 3 years now, but I didn't want to call to set up an interview with the provider because I didn't know how to say her name.  My daughter was at the daycare for 6 months before I even tried to say the providers name.

I have a wonderful sister-in-law whose name I just can't say correctly, no matter how much my brother sounds it out for me.  Of course he has to get in his stupid loud laugh in first, and make me embarrassed for even trying to say it - He's an ass! (I can say that cuz it's true)  Instead I try to find ways to avoid saying her name, like waiting till she is looking at me to talk to her, or sitting close to her so it's obvious I'm talking to her.

Her name is very beautiful, it sounds strong and delicate at the same time.  It fits her perfectly, and I wish I could say it, but I would rather not say it then destroy and mutilate it, I would rather not say it then have my brother laugh at me. (ASS!!)

Those Monsters need to start paying rent.

My daughter is not a big fan of going to bed and going to sleep.

She has had some pretty creative excuses to come out and drag going to bed out, but lately it's all about the monster and their shenanigans.

Last night she told me that 4 monsters lived in her closet, 2 under her bad, and baby monster in her lamp.  I used Monster spray to protect her from the monsters, but she still came out of her room 2 more times.

The first time she told me the monsters in her closet were singing to loudly and she couldn't sleep.

The second time she told me the baby monster was hungry...

Needless to say, if these monsters want to stay living here they better start paying rent!!!