"Hunter Is Pissing Me Off"

There are morning that are hectic, rushed and crazy.  Most of the time it's because the small humans in our home don't cooperate in a helpful manner.  This morning was my fault I over slept, which rarely happens. The children were amazingly helpful, doing what they needed to do to get ready, so it was more of a relaxed rush.

Hunter got himself cereal and Stevi got a yogurt.  I was in my bathroom putting in my contacts when the tiniest human started yelling "MOMMMMMM... MOOOOOOOOMMM".  So, with one contact in I look down the hall to see Stevi standing in my doorway with both hands on her hips and a scowl on her face.  "MOM HUNTER IS PISSING ME OFF" I look down at this beautiful 3 year old and said "what"? She repeats herself "HUNTER IS PISSING ME OFF"!!!  Now, I heard her perfectly clear the first time, she didn't stutter, but I needed time to think, what do I do...  I chose to ignore what she said and focus on the issue.

I go into the kitchen to see what was "upsetting" Stevi.  Turns out Hunter was telling her she needed to stir her fruit and yogurt together.  I told Hunter to leave his sister alone and allow her eat her yogurt however she wants.  As I turn to go put my other contact in, Stevi pipes up and says "Yeah Hunter, you need to stop pissing me off"

Sigh, I hope my eye-site isn't affected by the frequency of eye rolling that takes place every morning!

Baby Names

We have all heard those baby name that make you think "What the hell were you thinking".  But polite people normally keep those thoughts to themselves and say something like, "oh thats different" or "Is that a family name"

Two of my four children have names that has cause people to say this.

My second child's name is Raistlin.  Pronounced Race-Lyn.  Most people are polite and say one of the polite comments, but I have been asked and told things like "Do you hate your child?" "He is going to get teased" and "At least you were smart enough to give him a normal middle name"

My youngest child is my Princess, he name is Stevi Rae and most comments have been kind.  Some people were surprised that after having 3 boys I didn't give my one daughter a more "girly" name.  My brother even called her Jessica for the first year of her life.

Picking a name for your child is a personal one, it is a process that isn't always easy.  No parent wants to be criticized for giving their child a name that they truly love.  You don't have to lie, but be polite!!

Family... and fitting in.

Generally if you don't fit in anywhere at least you fit in at home with your family.

For over 30 years I've wanted nothing more then a strong loving family.  A place to fit in, no matter what I may be going though, no matter what other family members may be going though, No matter what!

But for a long time now I've been that square peg trying to force myself into that round hole.  Other then my brother my biological family is a joke.  (not the funny ha-ha kind joke, the cruel distasteful kind of joke)  My foster family is something I tried for a long time to fit in too, but most of them want nothing to do with me, and those who do act like all the terrible things they did to my brother and I either didn't matter or didn't happen.*  One day I just woke up and realized I didn't need this in my life, and stopped trying so hard to be a part of a family that wanted no part of me.

The truth is, when I stopped trying so hard and I just sat back and looked around I realize what I have is enough, it's nice and it's mine.  I have a lovely Boyfriend, wonderful children.  I have great in-laws, a pain in the ass brother ( The kind of pain in the ass you love) beautiful nephews and a beautiful niece.  I am a very lucky person with people who want to be in my life as much as I want to be in theirs!!!

*(side note, there is a small wonderful family that is a part of my foster family that are good people - The Khans,  I still consider Ellen and Charles my Aunt and Uncle, and their children my cousins.  They were the only ones that treated me like family, that loved me because of me.  A few times Aunt Ellen would let me stay at their home when things were just to unbearable to my home.  Even though I only see them on facebook now, they were a light in a dark time in my life.)