O.C.D is D.U.M!!

I have been clinically diagnosed with moderate OCD.  Many times I can function just fine.  Sometimes I need to "fix" things to make them just right in order to function, and other times I freak out and shut down until I can accept and change a "tick" to make it acceptable in a new way.

I like even numbers... and the number five, five is the only odd number I like.  2 is my favorite number, but not my lucky number.  Anyways,  we have 4 different magazines at work in our lobby.  When a new magazine comes in I place it on top and toss the oldest, that way there is always new material for our patients to read.

VERY LONG STORY SHORT, one of the New Yorkers had to be removed due to sensitivity reasons and now there is only 1 in the lobby.  This has upset me to no end, almost to the point of tears, I'm almost ready to cry just typing this.

I truly hate having OCD when it makes me feel like a complete idiot and fool.  I wish I had a cooler problem like a gluten allergy, hyper sensitive hair growth, or everything tastes like ice cream disease.

You Can't Tell Me Where To Park!!!

How many of you have parked your Hummer in a clean air only parking space at the grocery store???

I don't have a Hummer, but I have parked in one of these spots from time to time at my local grocery store and at the near by CVS.  Unlike Handicap Parking, that are regulated by the law, and make perfect sense why they are needed and used,  Clean Air Only Parking doesn't seem fair.

 I just had to check with a few Police Officers, one Parking Patrol Officer, and a little internet research, these spots are not regulated by law enforcement in the state of California (if you live elsewhere you may need to do some research)

This is the part I don't understand... Why does someone who drive a clean air vehicle need to park right up front?  Is the store trying to reward those who have enough money that they can run out and buy a Prius?  In the same sense are they punishing me for having a car I can afford, but don't have what they consider "Clean Air"?  Hey, My car passed it's smog and is legal!  Just because your Leaf can pass it's smug, you are no better then me.   (Yes, that's a reference from South Park's Season 10 Episode 2 "Smug Alert)

I don't park in the family spots without my family, I respect our veterans for all that they have done for our country, and leave those spot alone, but I have a hard time "respecting" those clean air parking spots!!!

TV Happiness

We bought a new TV and Entertainment Center and I am happy.  But, it's not the physical TV that's making me happy.

Last year when I received my tax return, I had many financial obligations and the money went to paying off these responsibilities.

I told my boyfriend that I wanted to get a new TV and Entertainment Center with the next years tax return.  He and I decided this is what we would do.  In order to do so, we budgetted every penny, we cut all those things we didn't need.  We made sure to stay on top of our bills and were careful to not over spend, even if that meant going to 3 different grocery stores.  We almost never ate out unless it was a special occasion, and no, "We made it though another Monday" didn't qualify as a special occasion.  We even quit smoking, although that wasn't entirely for the financial benefits, but I do have to admit it's nice not having the budget money for those nasty little habit sticks.

One year later I received my tax return and we picked out a nice TV and nice Entertainment Center.

I'm happy that we have come so far from where we started.

There's a Penny in my Washer and I Can't Get it Out!

I know what you are thinking, you think this penny is stuck in my washer somehow and that I have tried to remove it but can't.  Well you are wrong if you do indeed think this.

The penny is at the bottom of my washer faced down.  Every time I do wash I hope that the penny will flip over and I can then pick it up and remove it from the washer, but it hasn't flipped over in 2 weeks and I'm starting to think it may stay there forever.

For some reason I am convinced picking a penny up that is tails up is very bad luck.  I know that believing in good luck and bad luck it silly and childish.  I know that good and bad events that happen to us are typically caused by actions we have done, but no matter what I tell myself I just can't pick the penny up.  I can pick other coins up that are tails up, just not pennies.

I can tell you this, that penny is going to be super clean when I am finally able to remove it from my washer.

Happy Holitines Day!!

My daughter is the cutest little girl in the world!  Yes I know, every mother who has a little girl has said this, but in my case it's the truth.

Today is Valentines Day and my daughter has combined Happy Holiday with Happy Valentines Day, which is Happy Holitinies Day.

She is getting bigger and more grown up everyday and she will soon speak perfect english, but until then I will enjoy every cute thing that comes out of her mouth.

Sumting - "I want sumting good for dinner"
Nonfing - "Stevi what are hiding under that pillow?" "Nonfing"
Monk - "What do you want to drink?" "Chocolate Monk"
O' Tay - My brother loved this one. obviously it's for OK
Chop Stick - I don't know why, but this is what she calls a Cheese stick.
Pretties - any hair accessory is called a pretty.
Lip Polish - I hope she calls lip gloss Lip polish forever because thats just too cute!!

Someday she'll be be grown, but today she is my perfect little 3 year old who has wished me a Happy Holitines Day.

Happy Holitines Day to all of you!!!

Chicken Fried Steak Fried Chicken Fried Huh?!?!

I lived in Texas for 5 years, and during that time I learned about some "new" foods.  Some good, some bad and some confused the hell outta me.

Okra was a food I hadn't heard about before I moved to Texas.  It's very hard to put into words how this vegetable makes me feel, but I'll try.  Ok.... Lets say the Jolly Green Giant had a cold, and he blew his nose, well his hanky would be full of okra!!

HUSHPUPPYS!! Now these are truly something to write home about!!  A hushpuppy is a savory, starch-based food made from cornmeal batter that is deep fried in a small ball shape.  It's like a corn dog with out the hotdog.  I fell in love with these nuggets of gold.

I must have been in Texas for a month before I asked my good friend what Chicken Fried Steak was.  He told me it was Steak fried like Chicken.  Simply enough to understand.  Then another month passes and I see Chicken Fried Chicken on the menu.  So I say to my friend "Isn't this just Fried Chicken?" he replied "No, it's Chicken Fried like Steak Fried like Chicken." WHAT?!?!?!?! That's FRIED CHICKEN!!

This is something that will bother me forever, Chicken Fried Chicken is nothing more the Fried Chicken!!

I'm ok with saying, I don't Like Monkey Brains.

Have you ever been asked "How do you know you don't like it if you never tried it"?

I believe that after a period of time, knowing what we do and don't like, we have the ability to determine things we may or may not like without trying them.  Sure we may be wrong, but chances are we wont be.

I just asked my 12 year old if he liked being punched in the face.  He said "No".  I asked him if he had ever been punched in the face, he said "No". So then I asked him how he knew he didn't like getting punched in the face.  His response we simple.  "Because I've been punched other places and it hurt".

You can apply the same logic to food.  I don't like peas.  I don't like split pea soup, so I don't need to taste mushy peas to know I don't like it.

I don't like tongue, tried it once thought I was going to die.  I don't like tripe, I spit that out once and I think I did die.  So Yes, I am completely ok with saying "I don't like Monkey Brains!".

If I love it, it came from my mother. If I hate it, it came from my father.

I was only seven when I lost my mother, and yet I consider myself lucky because I have memories of her.  I remember wanting to be just like her. She was pretty, and kind and I loved her so much.

My Father isn't someone I talk about because I dislike him very much.  He's immature and plays the victim card every chance he can, he's an all around bad person.

There are things I love about myself.  I love my nose, it's perfect and it's my mom nose, I want to get a nose piecing, but don't think my boss would like that.  I enjoy being on the shorter side of height, my mom was short too.  My mom enjoyed baking and sewing and so do I. I.  I love my legs but I have to be honest I think I got those from 4 years in Marching Band.

There are things I hate about myself as well.  I hate my hairline, it's gives me a huge forehead (or fivehead as my lovely boyfriend says...But never about me) I hate my chin, it's a butt chin and it's ugly, I can be very needy at times and I have a huge desire to have everyone like me.  These qualities all come from my father.

The biggest insult my brother and I have ever used to hurt the other is saying "you are just like dad".  Saying this is truly the worse thing you can say to me.  On the flip-side, I can remember being told "You look just like your mother"  Even as a young child it made me beam with happiness, there is no better compliment in the world then knowing I may be even a little bit like her.

My Mom holding my baby brother

One Person.

Do you have that one person in your life that drives you CRAZY!!  Not the typical crazy, the kind of crazy that takes over every part of your being?

You guessed it, I have this one person in my life.  I love this person dearly and yet he can make me so mad and frustrated I honestly don’t know what to do with myself.

I’ve had many of my friends tell me they enjoy reading my blog, but this one person, made a comment that made me cry (please refer to the crybaby post).  I don’t know why I care so much to have him care, I just do.  He would rather spend his time playing candy crush then taking a few minutes to read my bog, and that’s ok, but to feel he needs to let me know it’s not worth his time, hurt me.

I considered ending my blog last night, even today, but the truth is I enjoy writing this and have learned to accept that this one person will never be impressed with anything I do and that’s ok, I still love him.

I wonder though would I still love him as much as I do if he wasn’t family?  I dunno, but I do know he would probably be nicer to me if I wasn’t his sister.

Tofu

I can't stand the smell of tofu, the look of tofu, and the thought of putting tofu in my mouth.

In the early years of my marriage to my second husband, we lived with my husband's father.  His father owned a 5 foot long, fully grown iguana named George.

I didn't mind George, I didn't bother him and he didn't bother me.  In fact we sorta liked each other, But I think he liked me more then I liked him, mainly because I am so much more entertaining then the average reptile.

Georges favorite meal was tofu.  Fresh tofu has a faint, mild smell.  Old tofu has a stronger robust odor.  Tofu that has been pooped out of an iguana smells so rancid it makes the aroma of wet dog smell like a delightful perfume you buy at Macy's.

I may have only lived with George for 2 years, but my hatred for tofu will last a lifetime.

Mmmmmmmmm, Not.

The love of my life is a professional chef, he and I enjoy watching cooking shows.  We watch cooking game shows like Chopped, Guy vs. Rachael, and Hell's Kitchen.  We watch the reality shows like Ace of Cakes and Kitchen Nightmares. We watch our favorites like old Julia Child shows, Jacques Pepin, and Alton Brown.   We watch people we don't care for like Martha Steward and the Powder Sugar King (I dont know who he is, all I know is he likes putting powdered sugar on EVERYTHING)

And then there is America's Test Kitchen... I love this show and I hate this show.

What do I like? Well they are always perfecting recipes that I've never heard of, like The Best Grilled Lamb Kofte, or they are improving things that don't need improving like The Chocolate Chip Cookie.

My problem with the show, and it's a pretty big problem, is after the new and improved recipe is done, the creepy, skinny, old guy and the lady that did all the work tastes the finished product and they start making the most disturbing, disgusting Yummy noises, as if they are having some kind of edible sex right there in front of me.

Dear America's test Kitchen,

I get that you just made the worlds oldest recipe into a modern master piece, but please stop having foodgasms on film.  If you just can't stop, can you please hire someone else to taste the food and make the obscene Mmmm Mmmm Sounds, Preferably Ryan Reynolds and Me?

Who Knew?

I have 3 tattoos.  I only like one of them.  My first was a Yin Yang on my right shoulder, I got it to impress a guy, he wasn't impressed and we didn't date for long.  The second was a gift from my brother, it's on my left ankle, I really like this one.  My Brother likes to tell people I cried when I got it, so if he ever tells you this, HE'S LIEING!!!  The last is one on the back of my neck that reads "Who Knew".

I got "Who Knew" during a dark time in my life.  I had just left my abusive husband and was only days away from becoming homeless.  Not the kind of homeless where you stay on a friends couch or move in with a reluctant family member.  Nope, it was the kind of homeless where you go to a shelter or sleep in your car.

My mother had me at a very young age, at this time in my life I wanted to believe that if she knew the hell I would  have to endure from the time I was born until adulthood and beyond, she would have done the compassionate thing and aborted.  But "Who Knew", she didn't.  (told you I was in a dark place)

I really want to get the two I hate covered up, I really want my whole back done in stars.  Two things are stopping me from accomplishing this, One, the cost, I doubt I can afford this and two, I feel I'm to old to get it done.

Well maybe someday... "Who KNOWS"