So many times I hold so much inside because I'm afraid it will make me look like a bad mother, an immature woman, or just plain insane! I Think Kristin is brave and strong for just saying it like it is!
I had my first son at 19, 5 years later I had my second son, and 5 years after that I had my third son. I wanted a little girl so badly, but I would never admit to that. Don't get me wrong I love Hunter as much as I love his brothers, wouldn't trade him in for anything, but I was hoping for a daughter. almost 5 years later I had a terrible miscarriage and had my tubes tied. I was completely happy with my boys, I didn't feel the need to "try again."
During the lowest time of my life, I met and fell in love with a wonder person, my best friend, and the most amazing man. Months later I started to have the most painful cramps, I thought I was dying or had some awful form of cancer (I can be a bit of a drama queen when I'm sick). I saw the Doctor at the free clinic ran by the homeless shelter I was living at, and was told it was nothing more then my PCOS acting up and I should go to Planned Parenthood for BC pills to help for a month or so. Planned Parent ran a routine Pregnancy test and told me I was pregnant. After about 15 minutes of me arguing with the nurse that that wasn't possible, she did an ultra sound and I was indeed pregnant.
I haven't shared this with anyone but Doug, but I was ANGRY and scared, but mostly very very ANGRY. I was too old and too poor to be having another child. I had my tubes tied for a reason, I was pissed off I had to now make a choice, after I had already made a choice to not have anymore children.
I had a beautiful healthy baby girl and I have always wanted her, it was just not the pregnancy I wanted.
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